Musical queens (noun, plural) - gay men (and their sympathizers) enlightened enough to realize that stage and screen musicals are the be all and end all, the ultimate cultural flowering of the human race.

At a time when the musical is an endangered art form, ours is not a hobby – it is a cause. Becoming a true "musical theatre queen" is less a matter of taste or artistic preference than of degree. This is not a classification open to dilettantes. We don't merely care . . . we believe.

Most gay men have some interest in musical theatre, but not all make the grade as musical theatre queens. Do you? A handful of cast recordings and soundtracks scattered among your Madonna's, U-2's and K.D. Lang's? A Playbill or two hidden in a drawer? One musical poster on your bedroom wall for decorative purposes? If so, sorry honey – you don't rate. 

Musical theatre queens collect recordings, videos and memorabilia with a vengeance, attend screenings and performances often, argue about musicals at the drop of a hat, and do all of the above with the subtlety of a chain saw at a prayer meeting. Musical queens love non-musical theatre and film too, but it is a different sort of passion. Face it; you cannot sing along with the greatest works of Arthur Miller or Michael Tarantino.

Many people have asked over the years if it is possible for enlightened lesbians and heterosexuals to rate as "musical theatre queens." I believe it is no insult to salute other musical buffs as beloved comrades with a difference. Just as sexual preference matters in choosing the cast for Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, so too it usually matters in defining musical theatre queens. However, there is no denying that a special few share the mania, the sense of belief -- so some lesbians and heterosexuals deserve to be considered honorary members of our enchanted circle. (I refuse to even guess where bisexuals fit into all this -- as a classic lyric so aptly puts it, "indecision is a bore.")

For Us, It's Like Football . . . Sort of
For gay believers, musicals are what football is to many straight men. We relish souvenirs and statistics, root for our favorites, and know all too well the difference between a winning season and a losing one. They have the Superbowl – we have Tony Award night. And just as football-loving hets are not required to throw a great forward pass, musical queens are not required to tap dance. Granted, musical theatre queens don't strip half naked and paint their torsos with show logos, but we had to leave straight men some form of unrepressed expression, didn't we?

Having defined the genre and its gay adherents, let's look at their joint history. To do this we must step back to a time when (horror of horrors!) musicals did not exist, and the Deity realized something was needed to bring color to a dreary, drama-heavy world.